Wednesday, 16 January 2013

The next steps....

Papers are finally in hand.

First visit at the new clinic which specializes in folks like me... done. Met the doctor that will bring me through to the other side, sweet young thing, new doctor, but smart, informed, and eager to learn and go through the process with me. There are other, very experienced, doctors at the clinic as well just incase I end up being a difficult case, so I feel fine. I thought we would have at least gotten the physical done today, but no, I have a req to get a whackload of blood tests done, and a followup appointment in four weeks where we discuss the results, do the physical, and make a plan. Instead, we spent the time chatting, she asked about my history in feelings of being trans, we chatted about that, how things are going with Becca, my past, my future, it was nice. She told me that she thinks I'm a great candidate (physically), that I have great features already and I'm very lucky compared to many of her clients, I have to say that made me feel pretty good, she even complimented me on my voice, and said that its definitely in a gender neutral range, but I speak "like a woman" so its easy for the listener. I've actually received that comment a few times now, with people that know me primarily as Dawn, or as a femme person. I think my voice still drops around Becca, I'm going to have to ask her about that when she gets home....

so ... yeah.... I guess that's it for today, nothing earth shattering or deeply insightful to talk about, just wanted to give a quick update.

I keep saying to myself.... wow.... this is really happening, my god, this fantasy, this dream that has been in my mind, in my being, for my entire life, is coming true, what the hell, I almost expect to wake up from this sometimes.

oh hell.... something popped into my head that happened today.... I got to work very late, like 3pm, because of my appointment at the clinic, and we had an insurance guy come by in the morning. I had to stop by my shrink's place to get my letter, then the whole visit, so I've been in a very femme mode all day, my filters were completely off. I've been at work for about 20 minutes, I'm walking down the hall and this girl at work who I'm friends with, absolutely gorgeous girl, fantastic style, I've got a girl-crush on her, is walking towards me, I look her up and down, point at her outfit, and say one word to her... "gorgeous". The look she gives me is hilarious as we pass each other, a smile at being complimented, a twist of the eyebrow as it hits her and she wonders.... wait a minute.... he said.... wha?..... umm.

regardless of how out I was, I now a little more out than before, hehe, oh my, maybe it's time I should be talking to HR?

anyway, g'night

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