Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Cyclical Meanderings..... part 6..... poly

I'm seeing someone new, the one that was alluded to in my last post, from the pantsless party

It's been a whirlwind so far, the connection that we feel, the ideas and thoughts that we share, incredible, completely and utterly incredible. I sincerely have never felt this before. Yes I've been in love, deeply in love, but not after two weeks.... my pattern has always been that lust grows fast, but love takes it's time. In this, we are completely aware that we are in lust, but it is more than that, and she feels it too. It's love, and it's been declared, and it makes us happy.

The kicker?, she's polyamorous, and married to a person that she loves deeply, but that doesn't mean that she can't love another deeply as well.

So, does this mean I'm now poly?, what does poly mean?.... I have a feeling that poly can mean different things to all of us, just like open relationships or even monogamous relationships. Each have their own way, their own set of rules, their own reality.

I don't really do casual anything. If I do something, anything, I usually dive headfirst into it. I don't do casual friendships, I don't really see the point, I love my friends, each in their own way, for various reasons, and I feel that they satisfy different needs, different aspects of me, and bring different things to my life. I don't sleep with (the vast majority of) them, but I do love them. I would fight for them, support them, make sacrifices for them, stand by them, open myself up to them and they to me, they are truly special to me. Losing a good friend at times can sting just as much as losing a partner.

Isn't that already kind of poly?, does it take sexuality in order to make it poly?, if so, then maybe I already am poly, I do have a friend that I love, and we have always had a sexual connection which recently became real. Isn't that the classic definition of poly?

Is there a classic definition of poly?

My girl is going on a date with a partner of hers. They will talk, and eat, and enjoy each others company, and most likely end up in bed. That's what I just did with my good friend, but I don't think of it as "a date", I think of it as a good friend who I enjoy time with, will eat and drink with, and maybe we'll end up in bed together. The outcome appears to be the same, the only difference I can find is the label that we put on it. She's going on a date, I'm not, but we do the same stuff....

which of course leads to.... what is a date?.... what makes a date different than enjoying sexuality with a loving friend?

I think, for me, dating has the component of wanting to examine if there is a potential future with said person, testing the waters, looking for compatibility in that way. With my friend that I love and share sexuality with, I hope she is in my future as an important part of my life, but not like that.... but what does that even mean?.... lets see.... where is the line?.... what is the difference?....

I would hate to lose her from my life, but I'll never feel a romantic love for her.... perhaps dating for me is a test to see if romantic love can be there at all. Love is different with everyone, and for everyone, and while I love many, that specific type of romantic love is reserved for .... up to this point .... just one

and I'm a romantic at heart if you haven't all figured that out yet

is that the difference between poly and open?, the romantic love?.... do others have the same definition of romantic love?

what is the definition of romantic love?.... oooh.... that's a good one

delving deeper


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