woo woo

Within constant chaos, one must evolve constantly

Anything else is irrational


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I think that may be why, during my previous life, when I fell into the static, I would eventually go insane, need to break out, get free.... that usually ended up in me doing stupid and unhealthy shit

but the chaos can be frightening, and there is such security within the static. I guess a lot of people are comfortable within the static, they must be, so many of them live there, but personally, I don't buy it

I think they all have a need to break free, to explore and experience.... but the need doesn't overpower the fear for whatever reason.... yet they love living their lives vicariously through people like me..... just as I did when I was static, hearing stories instead of telling them, realizing that all the stories I was telling were a decade or two old, I wasn't creating any new pages in my book, no new chapters other than the Disney ones.... bought a house, got married, big TV, new car, not happy, ignoring my needs, nothing else.... ugh

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I was called a "woo woo" last night, meaning one of those people that looks for deeper meaning in everything, a dreamer, a romantic. The term makes me laugh, and she appreciates it in me for which I am thankful, as this new journey is just beginning

another step into evolution, into chaos

yet, strangely enough, without fear

just a twinkle in my eye

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It seems I'm not as straight as I thought I was.... go figure.... I'm sure this doesn't surprise anyone else but me...

A party in which you don't wear pants, a crazy and weird experience. A gay guy dances with me, lifts me in his arms, kisses me, and declares that it was the first time in a decade he had done this. And it was wonderful. An interesting connection is made

I meet a woman, a soul, we find ourselves acting like teenagers on the dance floor, and outside of the club, and in my room in the wee hours of the morning.

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Imagine sharing a powerful, sensual, beautiful connection with someone, knowing that they share the same type of connections with others, and that you as well have the liberty to do so yourself. Not just mechanical sex, or physical need, but emotion, energy, feelings....

The thought had always terrified me, yet now, no fear, just living, just being, and enjoying the journey, regardless of where it takes me, or her.... trying not to use the term 'us'.... too soon, but....

Isn't that what it's supposed to be about?, the journey?

My mother asked me about a possible future in this type of world, where is the security?, where is the guarantee?, if you find yourself alone at 70 or further, on your death bed, will you have that person there with you?

I have so much love in my life, I know that I won't be alone when the time comes, and love is truly what matters, not a specific pre-approved version of love, just love

There is so much time between now and then, a lifetime in fact, and I'd rather fill that life, that storybook, with as many pages and chapters and footnotes and appendices and inserts and references as possible as opposed to one long page ..... a static page

sharing love, what a novel concept

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yeah.... I'm a woo woo.... that's for damn sure.... what can I say.... it fits