Dawn's first day out....

no, this isn't a post in which I reminisce

today, in all honesty, was Dawn's first day out

but how you ask, after all, we've seen the pictures, you have been out and about.... unless.... this is all a ruse!!!

(dum dum dummmmmmmmm)

no, of course the pictures are real. Let me explain.

I had another laser session last Tuesday, and as usual, only four days later, my face is still a mess. When I shave, the blade can't actually hit my skin in lots of places, especially those with a lot of hair (i.e., the upper lip), so i actually end up with stubble worse than when I had a full beard, because the hair that is causing the stubble that people see, it's all dead, and waiting to be expelled by my body, so it's darker, burnt, coarse. To top it all off, when I put makeup on that burnt face, it is NOT comfortable, it irritates me, I feel this constant burn, ugh, it sucks.

so, I was planning to go see a very close friend of mine, hang out with her for a bit, then go see my good buddy with her and do some hula hooping (I swear it's amazing once you get the hang of it, and an incredible workout!), so since I was going to be in safe places all day, when I put on my regular almost-invisible makeup, I decided to go a little heavier on the eyes...

then a bit of smudged eyeliner in a medium brown....
my evening mascara (not the daytime, not the crazy clubbing stuff either)...
well that's not awful, get my foundation powder, dab some on my ugly splotchy face...

hrm.. again, not awful... and more than that, something is starting to form in the mirror, someone I've been seeing a lot lately, but someone I'm not used to seeing without a wig, without my breast forms...

I put on some light lipstick, then removed most of it so it just stained my lips and made them look a bit fuller...
I brushed out my thickening, darkening hair, its down to my shoulders now...
put on some small and discreet, but very sparkly and shiny earrings...
a small heart pendant

I met myself, the first real image of the woman I'll become.... and I'm beautiful

I tossed on my favorite pair of jeans that make me look oh so curvy, a tight femme tshirt, a cardigan and a scarf. And screw it!, I put on my 2 inch wedge suede boots as well, grabbed my favorite purse, long military style coat, may as well do it properly...

and my face kinda looked like hell, hahah, and I loved it!!!. I knew that people wouldn't really know what to think

after all, notice that I didn't put on my boobs?, hell, I have no breasts yet, and I'm OK with that, I can still feel feminine, and I know something is going to grow, so once they do, I'll wear a bra... but it felt good to feel like this fledgling woman just really starting to grow and form...

so I go to see (shit, I know I've named her, can't remember, I should make a list) Violet, and at first she is surprised at my inbetween look, as is her wonderful boyfriend when he gets home, but when I tell them how I'm feeling (and I seriously didn't care how people gendered me at all, I felt like ME, and that is what was important) they understood, and they saw what I saw, and they were so happy for me.

We go to my buddy's place; this is my best bud really, the one guy who has treated me instantly as a woman from the first time he met Dawn, then as he saw Phil again, he treated "him" like Dawn, refers to me as such, easy, never a minute of discomfort, and has always given me the french kiss-kiss thing that we do up here in Quebec. Again, I know I've named him, but let's go with... a screw it, I know he wouldn't care, and there is only one name that suits him which is his, it's Chucky.

Anyway, we go see Chucky, and lo and behold, Andrea is there with him. This is one of the gorgeous girls that I met last Easter weekend, tall, beautiful, intelligent, fun, full of life. She recognizes me immediately, even if she had met the "full femme" Dawn the weekend before, and both her and Chuck agree that this look is so much better than the whole wig and boobs, and in many ways I look more womanly. It's weird what people see when you start to feel it inside yourself.... and I'm not just talking about the hormones when I say that.... this whole mental shift has been happening in me before my hormones have started, they're just speeding it along.

Ok, this is gonna be a longer post than I had thought, I'm writing as if this was yesterday, see, really this is Sunday and I had another amazing day which is about to start to tie in, so screw it, lets just keep going.

We spend the evening Saturday hooping, chatting, everyone getting along famously, and I am really one of the girls, even though when I look in the mirror I see the interesting in the middle creature I currently am, I feel like one of them. Chucky's roommates come home, a cute couple in their early 20s, and they've met me in either gender, they know my story, and are interested and supportive, and from them as well I felt like one of the girls, I was treated as such.

and it was great.... and really, that's all there is for that vein. I'm not ready to go out like that to a mall, or shopping. i.e., Today, I went to Ottawa to see an old friend that I've mentioned before, one that I haven't seen in 20 years since high school (literally, I'm that old that I can say that, piss off), and I wore my full face, wig, breasts, and I'm OK with that even though all the extra stuff is starting to bug me a bit, baby steps after all.... plus, it's Ottawa, I haven't ever been "examined" that often in Montreal, but I felt OK...

ok, let's at least split this into a 2 parter...